When S**T happens!
I had a new experience on Facebook this week- where someone posted a review of my service, rated it as 2 stars and posted what I felt to be a personal and unjust perspective on what I am offering! We have never met and she appears to have been triggered by one particular post where I shared that I’d run 10K and had talked about how it felt to run with less clothing on than usual. (I’d removed the jacket I would usually cover up with)
I tried to take the higher ground- one friend said, remember Michelle Obama’s message ‘if they go low, we go high’ and I tried, I really did. However, now realising that this review is still visible on my page to others (not to me, I’ve hidden it!) I feel compelled to respond.
This is not a ‘negative, body shape obsessed page’
This is not a ‘look at me I can run altho I need to shed a few pounds look at me’ kind of page.
I won’t repeat the rest of it.
Suffice it to say I was rather taken aback because I am not at all a ‘look at me’ kind of person!
I am not trying to be shape obsessed and negative, far from it. I am being REAL and AUTHENTIC and MYSELF. I am being honest with my own struggle. Yes I’ve found Mindful Eating and The Body Image Movement and the amazingness that is Taryn’s work and that is SO important. But that doesn't mean that I have everything sussed, that I have unlearnt a lifetime of negativity around peoples bodies and shapes and stigma associated with weight. This is why what I do now is so vital for me. It is important and of value. Women don’t need to be told what is ok and isn't ok in terms of their bodies and what they ‘should’ be doing. Don’t tell me a ‘fit healthy body is ALWAYS a leaner body’ because that’s just not true. That is an opinion, derived from living in our diet culture ridden society. There are many people out there who are very lean and not healthy. Health is not just about weight.
Which leads me to reiterate WHY I’m doing what I do?
It’s because I understand what it feels like to be in that place where you feel you just can’t do whatever it is you would like to do, because you’re too fat, or because you haven't got the confidence, or because what will people think? The feeling of, I’ll be able to enjoy my life when I’ve lost 2 stones, then I’ll feel worthy and then I’ll feel good about myself. It doesn't actually work like that, even when you reach the ‘magic number’ on the scales, you STILL FEEL THE SAME. Honestly you do. I’ve been there, Taryn’s been there and so have countless other people. The numbers on a scale do not define you as a person. And by the way, the more you try and deal with this through dieting, the worse it gets!
So despite the one negative comment, I had loads of really lovely comments about my run and my post. And today I met a friend who told me that my post about running had inspired her to sign up to do a couch to 5K running class. And this is BIG! For this friend, she doesn't know why she feels this is a big step for her, she just knows it is. She might be thinking what if....what if I can’t do it, what if I can’t keep up...what if I make a twit of myself...all that self talk which I do too sometimes. But bless her, my friend, she said that my honesty in my posts had encouraged her to think, what the hell, I’m going to take this in small steps. I’m going to ring the instructor first (who we both love, which helps!) , then fill in the form, then send the money, then go along. And she's still a bit apprehensive, but she’s going to do it anyway!
We had a chat about it and I said to remember that when I say I go running, what I mean is ‘I run for a bit and then I walk when I need to, run, walk, run, walk.’ For me that’s the whole point. We don’t need to be brilliant at running before we start running. It’s about getting out there and giving it a go, and then you feel better. Even if it’s going for a walk in the sun.