How to feel body confident at the Christmas Party
When I was in my teens I felt extremely conscious of my body. I thought it was wrong and I should be smaller.
I failed at all the diets I’d tried (and I’d tried many times), because all the weight had returned and I just could not stop myself eating. Once I was off my diet, that was license to eat everything I could. Everything that usually I wouldn’t let myself eat when I was dieting (there’s a clue here!) I didn’t stuff myself full of apples, it was chocolate, cake, biscuits , you know the kind of thing, because they were “not allowed” in dietland.
One Christmas Eve, I can remember hiding upstairs whilst my brother’s friends were downstairs, because I was too ashamed to face them.
I had a bit of a crush on one of them (not telling who!), I felt worthless and thought “if only I was thinner, he would be interested in me.”
I can remember the teenage me, crying in that bedroom, vowing that things would be different next New Year. How I wish I could talk to my younger self….because I understand what was going on now but back then it was ‘all my fault’. I didn’t understand that I was a product of my experience thus far, having grown up with plenty of messages (albeit unintended) that thinness was to be desired and that dieting was the way to get thin.
So, I am ALL TOO familiar with the notion of shame about our bodies and the belief that “my body is wrong.”
Except it isn’t.
I’d been basing my whole thought process on something that just isn’t true. I thought that I was wrong for being in my body, and felt like if I could do something differently (like eat better, get under control, just STOP eating the wrong food) then all the weight would drop off and I would be how I ‘should be.’
What I didn’t understand then was that all bodies are different. That the idea that we should all be a size 8/10/12 is not true and it’s been cooked up by the big corporations, marketeers and advertisers in order to sell us stuff we don’t need, like diet clubs and diet products…..Which we spend money on and hang our dreams on, because when we get there, (lose weight) life will be perfect.
All this is bS.
There is so much research to show that we aren’t all meant to be that type of build. Here’s something called Poodle Science which illustrates my point beautifully.
So please, when you are thinking you can’t go to your Christmas party because there something wrong with YOU, remember that it’s not YOU who is at fault.
Tell yourself on repeat, “My body is not wrong, society is.”
Get your party outfit on.
Play some Christmas tunes
Remember the people you are with care about YOU, not what you look like and they won’t even notice the thing that you are stressing about
Go and have a fabulous time 💕🎄xx
What I do is help women understand what is underneath their unwanted eating patterns. Then we can work on addressing them in a self-compassionate space. It’s often diet thinking-the never ending quest to be smaller, which causes us to eat in a disordered way. To restrict and then to binge, to ‘eat’ our emotions, to feel out of control around food. Diet thinking makes us lose touch with our body’s natural ability to regulate our eating.
The good news? You can learn how to stop doing this! xx
Want to know HOW to find Food Freedom? This is an approach that has liberated myself and others from the shackles of dieting and a head FULL of food, leading to peace and acceptance. I run workshops in person in Bristol and coach groups online too. And I work with individuals for a more bespoke approach.